Dear lovely readers,
I haven’t blogged for a while and I thought I would check my “stats” before bed and I have a little confession, I am a little bit incompetent when it comes to technology, I know how to tweet, post and share but that’s it and I actually didn’t know my blog site has a spam box and I just looked in it and I have HUNDREDS of wonderful supportive and encouraging messages of fantastic feedback from you guys.
Thank you so much and I’m so sorry I never responded, I didn’t know you were there….
My favourite comments were of those who said “You must be a famous blogger”, awww it made me chuckle because I literally write my blog in a “note” on my iPad, copy and paste and post! No science to it, I (obviously) don’t even spell check! I just enjoy sharing how I feel and hope somewhere I inspire something positive in someone or at least make someone feel like they are not the only one feeling how they do.
Reason I have been absent for a while is because I’ve been working on creating a better structure in my life and making a specific dream of mine come through which I will share in due course..
There are a couple of things I would like to pay forward…
I made a new friend who is a retired financial advisor and the first time I met him, the first thing he asked me was whether I have a will/ testament and he told me what would happen to my daughter and my affairs if I suddenly died without a will in place. Catastrophic! I urge anyone (with kids especially) to get a will.
Second bit of advise (I know this is not my style, I prefer to share a story and let you take from it what you like, rather than “advise” but I feel strongly about this….)
Get rid of people in your life who make you stressed, unhappy, are unreliable, negative, draining or any variation of the fore-mentioned.
This is YOUR life! Live it for you (and your children).
The buttons “block” and “delete” have becomes my friends on my phone. I don’t enter in a discussion about it, I don’t have hard feelings about it, I just do whatever I have to do to protect myself and my daughter and therefore, having anyone around me who tells me I ‘can’t’ do something, is no longer welcome in my life.
I am on a mission to be the best mom I can be to my daughter and with that comes a responsibility to mankind to unleash onto the world, an educated, elegant, compassionate lady who is a believer! Believer that she can do and be anything she wants, and with ‘compassion’ comes a care for those around us and the combination of both potentially benefits society as a whole.
And to be honest, whether I succeed or not is irrelevant. Because I cannot control the outcome but I can do my best to be a good role model and anyone who brings forth any self doubt has to go.
There is no blueprint to life, if there was, everyone would be a rock star, a president or a millionaire…. If the doubters were true friends (or family) they would allow you to be who you are, especially if you aren’t hurting anyone.
You know how many times I have heard from family members “what are you going to do with your life?”
Interesting right? I am 30 years old and that question alone is constructed to make me doubt whether I have done anything at all in the last 30 years that has been worth while! I’ve won awards, traveled the world, been married, have a wonderful baby, I am happy but still “what are you going to do with your life?”
Years ago I would thinks of ways to answer that so in their eyes I was not a waste of space or a failure and in the last year I found a new realisation:
1) I don’t even need to answer, I owe you NOTHING
2) look at the person who is questioning you! Would you want to be them? And look beyond their house and car, because most people don’t own a thing, it’s all financed! Are they happy? They can’t be, because happiness is contagious. If you are happy, you don’t sit there and think of ways to make people doubt themselves. If they are going to have any input, the happy person will want to help you be happy too…
3) Block! Delete! The time and energy it takes to listen and answer, I could spend that blogging and getting hundreds of positive comments who inspire me to do more and be more. Isn’t this a better use of my time?! What could you rather be doing?
The final little life lesson I have had recently that I would like to pay forward is PAY ATTENTION
Example, sometimes you may be sitting with a hot guy or girl and all you’re thinking about is how amazing it would be to kiss them, but you’re not listening to the shit that’s coming out of their mouth! Close your eyes and listen to them, if you truly heard them you would be telling them to “hit the road, Jack! And don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more!”
If, after listening, you still want to have ‘a good time’, that’s fine (we’ve all been there) but don’t cry tomorrow when they already warned you that they are no good for you! But you were checking out their ass instead of paying attention to their actions and words…
Also, if you are a complainer, pay attention to who you are complaining to.
Like skinny people complaining about their weight to people who are twice their size. Insensitive!
Another example, a friend of mine who used to be quite well off: He spent 7 years as a hands on dad and he is a wonderful father, but due to financial hardship he had to get a job and complains all day every day that he doesn’t get to pick his son up from school every day anymore and how he hates working and one day I had enough of it and I said: how many people get to be there every day for the first 7 years of their kid’s life without needing to work to pay the bills? Not many! Be grateful you had that! And you are so selfish to tell me this story because at least your boy has a mom too and a sister. My daughter only has one parent and I have to provide for it all and be emotionally balanced to be great parent too. Get some perspective, grow some balls and be grateful! (He doesn’t talk to me anymore, I don’t know why)
Would love to write more, but a have little girl who is standing ready with her whisk asking if we can make pancakes now…. Until the next time…
Have a wonderful Sunday. xx
And some of you asked how you can communicate with me. Please add me on Facebook I think it’s Facebook.com/rachelritfeldofficial or /officialrachelritfeld
Instagram is @rritfeld and twitter is @rachelritfeld
Once upon a sexy time 